Akeem and the Monsters

The year Akeem turned three, he began dreaming of monsters.



He woke up one morning and ran into the bathroom looking for his mama.

"I'm here, Mom!" he said. "I'm here!"

"I see!" said Mama. "Good morning, baby. Where did you go?"

"The monster came and took me away and I woke up and I was looking for you, Mama."

"Ohhhhhhhh," said Mama, nodding. "That was just a dream."

"Yes," he said. "That was my dream."

"You know," said Mama, leaning in real close, "anytime you have a bad dream about a monster, you can just wake up and come in my room. I will always be there."

Akeem snuggled her. "Can I have a popsicle?"



Sometimes, Akeem woke up at night because of the monsters. He went to see his mama, just like she said he should. She snuggled him until he fell asleep again. The monsters stayed away when his mama was around. Mostly.

When the monsters didn't stay away, Akeem's mama said, "You can tell me about the monsters if you want. What happened in your dream? What did those monsters do?"

Akeem told his mama that the monsters tried to take him away from her.

He didn't want to go. but they made him go.

He would run and hide, but they found him.

One night at bedtime, Akeem had enough. "Mom," he said, "I am gonna dream and see that monster and if that monster tries to get me I am gonna find you and I am gonna KILL that monster!!!"

Akeem's mama was not pleased by this.

"No, Akeem. We don't want to kill the monster, honey," she began.

"Yes! We are gonna beat him up!" he insisted.

Well! Mama thought for a minute.

"You know what, Keem?" she said. "You don't have to worry about those monsters. Do you know why? Because you are strong and tough!"

"Now if you see a monster," said Mama, "you just say, 'I'm not afraid of you because I am tough!' And that monster will say. "Uh-oh, you are tough? Then I had better run away!' And off he'll go."

Akeem did not have to think twice about his mama's words. He knew she was right.

"That's right," said Akeem. "I am gonna see that monster and say 'I am tough!' And that monster will run away!"

"Mmm hmm!" said Mama. "And if you see another monster, you say, 'I am tough and my mama is tough!' And that monster will say, 'Uh-oh! You are tough AND your mama is tough?! I better run away!' And off he will go."

Akeem giggled. "And if I see another monster, I will say, 'I am tough and my mama is tough and my sister is tough!' And that monster will say, 'Uh-oh! I better run away!'"

"That's right!" said Mama.

"And Mama," said Akeem excitedly, "if my friend sees a monster in his dream, if my friend from school sees a monster, I will tell him, he he will tell the monster....!"

"Ok, Akeem, no more monsters," said Mama.

Akeem flopped around for a minute in his covers.

"But, Mama," he said, "If a monster comes in my dream, can I come in your room?"

"Mmm hmm," said Mama. "Because we are tough and strong."

For Ali and Our Rolls

Last night I asked Courtney to take pictures of me. I have been looking in the mirror lately, actually taking to time to look at myself before I hustle the kids out of the door in the morning, and I began realizing that the image I see is different every day. It so often depends on my mood or my self-esteem on that particular morning. Just as frequently, my reflection seems to determine my mood. You know what I am talking about. It is impossible for you to gain 15 pounds in one day, but you and I both had days last week when we swore that was the case. Or, we looked in the mirror and admired that same body, those same curves that we cursed the day before.

The more I noticed these drastic changes from one day to the next, I wanted to see a "real" image of my body. One that was removed. That didn't turn with my own movements as in a mirror, but one that I could post up on the wall like a cover girl. Hence, the pictures.

What I saw when I looked at my body from different angles was the same self image I saw reflected in the mirror. Changing with each shift in perspective, my body seemed to project the self that I felt most connected to at the moment the picture was taken. Now, what does that really mean? What do we see when we look at ourselves in the mirror? In photographs?

Now, let's be real: I have had three babies. I am about 20 pounds heavier than my before-baby weight. I need a hair cut. I AM A PARENT!!! And a wife, and a student, and a latte addict. Self-professed, all the way. That all being said, I don't expect to see Sophia Loren or Iman when I look in the mirror. But looking at those photos, I didn't focus in on my physical imperfections, but rather on the disappointing and inhibited attitude that my face and body displayed.

My sister recently told me that she remembers seeing an art exhibit, painting or sculpture I think, when she was just moving into adolescence, in which the renderings of beautiful women focused on their ample waists and hips. I don't mean curvy like a perfectly smooth curve, I mean curvy like love handles, creases in the skin of their waists, little ripples of fat that accentuated the shape and appeal of their bodies. It was at this moment, when viewing these women who she saw as both beautiful and real, that my sister decided she loved "rolls."

Do you love your rolls? I don't, not every day. Courtney does, every day. More importantly, my body is a part of who I am. By expressing it with confidence, I change the way that I feel about it. I change the way that I am perceived.

Look in the mirror tomorrow and make a conscious decision to LOVE what you see. For yourself and for those around you. We love to see you smile.