Track thighs

My youngest baby is four months old on Tuesday and I am starting to come to terms with the baby weight. Not his, but mine. I gained, oh somewhere in the neighborhood of 50 pounds, and I was already 15 pounds overweight. Apparently, according to the health experts my ideal weight is between 112 and 145 pounds. As of about a week ago, I am at 186. Now, I was 212 when I gave birth, so I'm not doing too shabby. Still, the inches of fat on my belly and thighs (and everywhere else it seems) are starting to make me insecure. I mean insecure in that i-don't-want-my-husband-to-look-at-other-women way. And this is silly. Really silly. My husband loves me. Loves me AND finds be physically attractive even at 40 lbs over the legal limit. What more can I ask for, right? But after seeing Beyonce shake her rump enough times, I get that itch. It's like I wish I could just lazer off the extra parts, and leave the Beyonce curves. I actually have some good curves, they are just a little curvier than I would like them to be. And you know, it is motivation, all of this booty-shakin on TV. I even hear a song on the radio and feel the urge to run off some of those pounds. It is just.....so....sssllllooooowwww. But, you want to know what is really ridiculous? Life is not about looking pretty. It really isn't. Although I did catch my eye in the mirror the other day and thought, "Oh, I am cute!" Like I said, it is way too late. I gotta get some sleep.