Baggage

Bag lady you gon' hurt your back,
Draggin all them bags like that.
I guess nobody ever told you
All you must hold onto
is you. - Erykah Badu

Why do we hold onto baggage and let it hold us down?

I have spent the past year it seems, upacking all of my baggage. All of the mess that has really weighed me down since I was fourteen years old. Ten years of mess. Foolishness. Man, oh man. And I am tired, real tired, of carrying it on my back, on my mind, and in my heart.

Let it go, let it go, let it go, let it go. Thank you, Erykah.

My husband and I just spent the weekend dredging up history, laying it out on the table, and pulling it apart. You know, we have known each other ten years. That adds up to a lot of history. Bags. We have our childhoods. Bags. And our adolescence. Bags. And college. What I'm gon' say? Bags! You know it! Don't get me wrong. I loooovvvvvee that man. Together we have endured tests and trials, and have experienced more joys and blessings than I can count. But when we lay it all out on the table, we have taken alot of those experiences and carried them for those years. Truth be told, and let it please be told now or never, I tend to hoard most of the drama. Is it a female thing? Ladies? I don't know. I don't. But what I know is that I have had E-N-O-U-G-H! Carrying this mess around with me is hurting me. And my husband. And my children. And anyone who comes into contact with me, really. Because they cannot see me through the mess that I have covering me up.

Now, let me speak some truth to you all. And please tell me if I am on point or not, okay? We hold onto our baggage to hide. To cover up our fears of actually being someone, doing something in the world. We hold onto it for self-pity. We carry it so that we don't have to make someone else shoulder the burden. But let me tell you something (as my mother-in-law would say), other people, the people in your life, are there to shoulder that burden for you. That is why they are in your life. And if they are not willing to be there for you when you need them to hold your hand, then let them go.

We are not here to waste time holding secrets, holding hurt and fear and shame in our hearts. We are on this earth to love and to show others how to love by giving them love. We don't always receive the love we need. True. We don't always know how to be the best lovers, friends, parents or neighbors. But to use our baggage as an excuse for being in the place that we are in our lives? I am here to tell you that is unacceptable. We are better than that. I am and you are too.

Be truthful.
Show love.
Take a chance on those you love; let them love you.

"Sometimes we forget what we've got,
Who we are, and who we are not.
I think we got a chance
to make this right.
Keep it loose, keep it tight."

Amen!